Comedy Jokes in English

Boy: Xcuse Me
Girl: Jee Kahiye
Boy: Mere Hone Wale Bacho Ki Taraf Se
Apko Happy Mother’s DAY….

Girl: I Like Ur ‘Teeth’.
Boy: Oh Really, Why?
Girl: ……Becoz Yellow Is My Favorite Color.
(_”)
<||
_/\ .. Hight of Insult

A Cockroach To A Young Guy:
“I Can Make Your Girlfriend Scream,
More Louder Than You Can…Comedy Jokes in English

If Mallika Shehrawat plays Dropadi in Mahabharat..
Duryodhan will say… Dussashan, pehna do bhabhi
ko saari, hum bhi to dekhen yeh vastron mein kaisi lagti hai…

khuda kare tera mobile kho jaye
mile mughe aur mera ho jaye
karu sms ladikyo ko naam tera aaye
Maar tughe pare aur mazza mughe aaye………….

Snta-Ye Chhota Medal Tumhe Kyu Mila H?
Bnta-Gane K Liye,
Snta-Aur Ye Bada Wala?
Bnta-Apna Gana Band Krne K Lie

In an African Safari, A LION suddenly bounced on Santa’s wife.
WIFE-Shoot him! Shoot him!
SANTA-Yes Yes.I’m changing d battery of my camera..

santa:-yaar mera kutta kho gaya hai. Main kya karu?
Banta:abe tu paper me kyo nahi de deta ki tera kutta kho gaya.
Santa: chup kar sale mera kutta pada likha nahi hai.

Bijlee ki taar or ladki mai kya similarty hai???
Guess..
Not Sure
Oh Come on Yaar Simple Yaar
Dono Nangi ho toh jaan nikaal deti hai

Sardar: Aap kitna padhe ho?
Friend: B.A.
Sardar: kamal karte ho yaar, sirf do word padhe aur woh bhi ulte.

PATNI NE KAR DI DI
PATI KI ESS BAAT PAR DHUNAI !
KI USNE
” PATI PARMESWAR” FILM Q NAHI DIKHAI….

Faqir:Madam Bhuka hu,Khuda k naam pr khana dedo
Mam:Khana abi nai bna
Faqir:Facebuk pe BABA Pappu k naam se hu,ban jye to WALL pe post krdena…

^Dot0^~uplif8-[:-\:^winda)tryi:-#:-]:-wro8-|www###^opul0^:other-*:-\>-@:-!einsti:-D:(
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Ghoor kya rahe ho
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SMS ka accident ho gaya hai..

Soul1: How did u die?
Soul2: Due 2 cold U?
S1: I doubted my wife with a man & searched my house,
found none, felt guilty & suicided
S2: Ha ha i was in d Fridge..

Spiritual thought for d day-
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Faithful boyfrnds will go straight to heaven..
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Unfaithful boyfrnds are already enjoying…
HEAVEN on Earth.

LAZINESS is the ‘father’ of all bad habits..
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But ultimately he is a father & we should respect him!

-Be Lazy,
Think Crazy!

Teacher2KG Kid: Hw many mnths in a year?
Kid: 12
Teacher: Hw did u knw?
Kid: Baara mahine me bara tarike se tujhko pyar jataunga re!
DHINKA CHIka Dhinka Chika

Heart touching lines.. Thousand words of any teacher does not hurt much.. But the silence of a friend in the examination hall brings tears to the eyes..!

-@-@-@-@-@-@
6 roses 4 U
1 4 health
1 4 wealth
1 4 hapines
1 4 frndshp
or baki 2
Kaan pe laga lena
Mast lagoge

@(‘.’)@
-<( )>
._/ /_

Are wah!Kya dikhte ho

Who is the most lucky man of this week.?
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Kanimozi’s husband ofcourse….
Rs.214 Cr in hand and wife is in the jail
enjoy man..!!

Dhire dhire apna bana gaya he koi
Pyar k suhane sapne dikha gaya he koi
Ya khuda yeh pyar hi hai
Ya
Phir se “chuna” laga gaya koi.

Apke shero se hum ghayal ho gaye,
Apki hasi k hum kayal ho gaye….
50 rupye me 500 sms kya mile,
Sale chappal chor bhi aaj kal shayar ho gaye

Samundar Mein Gehraai Ki Tarah
Pyar Me Judai Ki Tarah
Khuda Kare Aapki Girlfriend Aapko Rakhe
Bilkul Apne Chhote Bhai Ki Tarah

Humko Yu Pagal Banana Chhor Do.
Muft Ka Maal Khana Chhor Do.
Tumhari Khushbu Ajeeb He Hoti Hai.
Bartan Wale Sabun Se Nahana Chhor Do.

Zindgi me kabi aisa b nzara ho
Dil ko mere kisi ne hasrat se pukara ho
Chandni rat,nadi ka kinara ho
Or
Bs namkeen tumari ho or quarter hmara ho

Kói gm nhi mgr dil udas h.
Aap se koi kam nhi Mgr 1 aas h.
Bahut he apne Mgr ap khas h.
Emótional/senti mat hona upr sab bkwas he.
Ye tó free k sms khtm krne ka prayas h………….best comedy sms for girlfriend

Agar aap janna chahte h pyar ki gahrai to likhe
I love apna name<space> apne partner ka name
Or bhej dijie
Apne PAPA k no.pe
Wo bataynge pyar ki gahrai…………just do it

Wat r d most powerful 3 words other dan I LOVE U?”
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RESULT AA GAYA!!” Ye 3 words bhi haste khelte insan ki ek pal mein duniya badal sakte hain.

Gabbar-Ye Hath Hum Ko De De Thakur
Thakur-Nahi Yaar Gabbar..
Me Dil Ka Mariz Hu
Agar Tune Mere Hath Kaat Diye To Mai B.P Kese Check Karwaunga!

PAPPU:Madras ka naam Chennai kyon pada?
NIKKU:Madrasi kya pahante hain?
PAPPU:Lungi.
NIKKU:lungi me chain nahi hoti isliye Chen nai…..+

Boy:-Me 4 years ka hu, Aur tum?
Girl:-Me bhi 4 years ki hu.
Boy:-To fir chal na, Sharmana kya?
Girl:-Kahaa??
Boy- polio ki dawai pine..Doo bund jindagi ka

Bus Conductor of AC bus of Delhi
<(‘.’)>chingu
<(‘.’)>pingu
<(‘.’)>mingu
Kya ye bacche apke hai,
agar nahi to aage bhej do,
jiske honge rakh lege.
surat mil rahi thi to laga apke honge..

UNIVERSAL TRUTH:
If a boy opens the door of his car for his girlfriend. .
Then. .
Either the ‘girlfrnd’ is new or the ‘car’. . !!